Flannel, Cigarettes, and Highway‑Volume Therapy

Your brain wants nostalgia and your body wants a grilled cheese, so we follow both threads until they collide with a wall of fuzzy guitars. We start with the very specific Gen X comfort-food universe: cheese toast, PB&J, bologna with mayo, and the elite move of stuffing salty chips into a sandwich. It’s funny, but it’s also a real look at how “fend for yourself” childhood dinners shaped our cravings, our independence, and the way we treat food as a shortcut to safety.

Then we launch a new hypotheticals segment with one big question: if reincarnation is real, what do you come back as? The answers get wildly specific, deeply lazy in the best way, and surprisingly revealing about burnout, boundaries, and the fantasy of finally being off the clock.

After that, we dig into grunge and 90s alternative rock with a listener-friendly breakdown of what makes grunge sound like grunge, plus the meaning and backstory behind songs like Nirvana’s “In Bloom,” Dinosaur Jr’s “Feel The Pain,” Screaming Trees’ “Nearly Lost You,” Hole’s “Doll Parts,” Jane’s Addiction’s “Been Caught Stealin’,” and Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind.” Along the way, Nicole reads a real 1984 diary entry that proves middle-school drama and ruined eclipse days are forever.

Hit play, then subscribe, share the show with a fellow Gen Xer, and leave a review. What would you choose to be in your next life?

Transcript

Cold Open Theme Song

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Two best friends, we're talking fast. We're mixing to our case, we're having a blast. Seeing these dreams, me on screens, it was all bad. Like you know, it's like whatever. Together, forever. Never, never never.

Weird Cravings And Comfort Sandwiches

SPEAKER_05 0:31

Welcome to Like Whatever, a podcast for, by, and about Jen X. I'm Nicole, and this is my BFFF Heather. Hello. So we were just chatting about our weird food cravings this week.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

And we want to know if you people have the same. Yes. I think it's because of the way we grew up. Because I said, and we have we have talked about this before. Um I could survive like a month on a loaf of bread and butter and cheese. And just make like grilled cheese. I mean, think of the many things you can make.

SPEAKER_05 1:09

Cheese toast, grilled cheese. Absolutely. Butterbread. Peanut butter and jelly. Toast. Yeah. Cheese, cheese toast. Cheese toast.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

I know.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Cheese toast was a big one. Yeah. Christine loved cheese toast. Christine did love cheese toast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

We had a um toaster oven specifically for cheese toast. But so I said that last night for dinner I had a cheese and mustard sandwich with a white bread, of course, with um red bag hers, which I don't I know they're local to Philadelphia, so I don't know if they're, but they're wavy. Yes. And they're very salty.

SPEAKER_05 1:48

Yes. Um, and I'm a I'm a bluebag hers girl. Those are the not uh ruffled. Not ruffled. The flat salty chips.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Um, and that's how you talk about them too. They're either red bag or bluebag. Yeah. Um and I put them on my sandwich.

SPEAKER_05 2:06

I used to do that as a kid. I actually that's funny. I thought about doing it today because, like I said, I went to the grocery store and got some sweet lemon and bologna because that used to be like a treat when I was a kid, if we got that, and I love it. So I had have been having that with mayonnaise and cheese. And I did actually consider putting chips on my sandwich at lunch today. But I had the bakelades, and I was like, that's not gonna have the same effect.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Well, I was I thought about making myself a sandwich to take to work with me today, and I was very sad that I didn't this morning. I was like, man, I should have made myself a sandwich. Mm-hmm. Yep. But I think that's from the way we like that's what I ate growing, like because we fend it for ourselves.

SPEAKER_05 2:48

So that was easy.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

And and I was always told, um, because I'm such a picky eater, that my mom made what my mom made, and she didn't make me eat it, which is probably why I'm still a picky eater. Although I know I have a touch of tism, and that's probably it, but because I wouldn't eat it, it doesn't matter. Um, I would starve to death. Um it was what then you have to make your own. Like you're on your own. So I had cheese sandwiches like a lot.

SPEAKER_05 3:15

Yeah. Yeah, sandwiches were big in my life. PBJ. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Because we do like Fend for Yourself night.

SPEAKER_05 3:21

Right. Yep. And when we used to go to my grandma's in Jersey, she we would always have ham and cheese sandwiches, but they put butter on it. Ham and cheese and butter instead of mayonnaise or mustard. Huh. Yeah. It was good back then. I haven't had it in a while. It was funny, I was at a training last week and I was sitting next to a co-worker, and I don't know, I don't have any idea what country that she's from, but she is not native to America, and she has a um thick accent. And we were getting ready to have lunch, and somebody's like, Oh, I brought my peanut butter and jelly. And she said to me, I have never had that. She's like, I can't even uh fathom those two things together. That sounds horrible. I was like, You've never had a peanut butter and jelly, and she's like older than me. And she was like, No, she's like, I'm not from here. I was like, Okay. She's like, and also that um, what is it, tomato soup with I said grilled cheese? She's like, Yes, ugh, I don't know how let's go together. It was so cute.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

So funny you say that because I was watching, I watched on TikTok, there's these two British guys, and they give British seniors in high school American foods.

SPEAKER_06 4:30

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

And they gave them peanut butter and jelly, and all of them were like, I don't know about that. I don't, that doesn't even sound remotely good. And I was like, What do you mean? Like that's so funny. I know. Like, I cannot think of anything other than chocolate that goes better with peanut butter than jelly. I know. But they couldn't even fathom it until they tasted it. And then they were like, oh. So I don't know if maybe their jam is not as sweet as ours. Okay. Yeah. I'm sure uh nothing that they have over there is as sweet as ours. Like some of the stuff that they were giving them Twinkies aren't even legal there because it's all processed. But it was funny, they gave them a uh Thanksgiving dinner. Oh my god. Those kids were just like, oh my god, this is the greatest. They gave them a cheesesteak. Oh, it was great. The one kid was like, This is the best sandwich I've ever had in my life. Oh my gosh. That's so cute. So I think it's just the way we were. Yeah, I agree. Because I can't imagine like my niece and nephew making like their own shit to eat. No. Like a peanut butter and jelly, and just being like, this is dinner. Mm-hmm. It's dinner a lot of times. Right.

SPEAKER_05 5:50

Yeah, I always cooked for my kids, and I would do, I made it fun and called it a free-for-all. And they thought it was fun because they could eat whatever they wanted. But in order to do the free-for-all as the mom, I had to make sure there were things to choose from. So there would be a couple nights dinners leftovers, some frozen waffles, and you know, like all kinds of things, so they at least had something to make, but yeah, nothing where like this is what I made, go fix yourself something else.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

So yeah, yeah. I ate a lot of cereal also. I have to eat cereal before I go to bed anyway.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

Mm-hmm. My daughter does the same thing. Yeah. Yep.

Reincarnation Hypotheticals With Rules

SPEAKER_03 6:26

That's like a rule. I can't sleep without it. Um, I also decided on my own, with nobody saying accepting until I told her, I sprung it on her just now, that I think we're gonna do a new segment. And we're gonna like call it so I have we haven't decided on a name, like hypotheticals or something like that. So then you can either get to know us better or you can play along and think about what you would do. Right. So I decided that it would be whoever did not do the script this week would come up with the question. That would be me. So today's question for all of you out there also reincarnation is real, we'll say. I don't know. It's hypothetical. Yeah, what will you what would you want to come back as? Do you want me to go first? I do because you told me this, and I'm still like not sure. I want to come back as a dog, but not just any dog. Okay, I'm very specific. Okay, I want to come back as one of those little purse dogs, a little teeny tiny thing, and I want my owners to be two gay men.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

Oh, not parasites.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

No, no, no, I want two gay men to be my owners, and that is what I want to come back as because I have a couple on my route, and they have it appears to look like it looks like a teddy bear. I don't know what kind of dog this is, but it looks like a teddy bear. And they carry it out to where it goes to the bathroom, and then they carry it back in, and they both take it out. I know, and it is, and then they carry it like it does not touch the ground on the street, nothing, and then they bring it back in, and then they take it up in the elevator, and they say hi to me, and but I they both take the dog out. That is so precious. So that no, nothing is treated better than a tiny purse dog owned by two gay men.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

That is what I don't want to have to I don't want to walk anywhere. I want to be carried everywhere I go and be given everything I could ever want and need.

SPEAKER_05 8:43

Yeah, yeah. I think mine's similar. I think I'd want to be a cat, but again, like with me owning it. Someone who's home all the time and always wants to snuggle, yeah, or leave me alone when I want to be left alone, feeds me all the time, scoops my poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good gig, right? I think, yeah. I think that's I can't think of like I wouldn't want to be any kind of wild animal.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

No. No. I don't want to be like just any dog either. Like I don't want to be like a a husky or like a working dog. I don't want to work. I've done worked enough this life that I feel like I should be pampered and taken and gotten my little haircut and you know, given baths, and I want to be carried everywhere. And you know he eats the best food. A hundred percent. You know that they probably make that dog food.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

That's what I it's probably sitting at the table with them. Yeah. Because it does look like a teddy bear. Like seriously. Never seen it. I want to I need to ask them what kind of dog it is. Because it does look, like it should be sitting on a shelf. Oh. It looks just like a teddy bear. I don't know. It must be some kind of uh doodle. I don't know. But it's cute. And I want it. And I want to be it.

SPEAKER_05 10:01

Yeah, yeah. More so to be it than to have it. Yeah. Because it sounds like it's very high maintenance.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

It might it might not be. It's just they make it that high maintenance. It's hair is always done. Sometimes it has a bow. Yeah. Clearly it's been to the grammar's. That is so cute. That's what I want. I want to be, I want to be owned by um two gay men. Okay. Yep. Not sorry, lesbians, but I don't want to be owned by lesbians because they seem to like make their dogs go hiking and shit.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

They do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

I don't want to hike.

SPEAKER_05 10:31

And they tend to like big dogs too.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Well, I wouldn't mind being a big dog, but I don't want to have to do anything. I don't want to hike. I don't want to go to the beach. I don't want to go swimming. Like I don't want to do any of that. I want to be carried around in a purse. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. So sorry, lesbians. It's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_05 10:49

Oh, that was so much fun. Now I gotta think of a hypothetical question for next week. I'm pretty excited about that. This is really funny. I thought it would be fun.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

And then everybody at home can think about their what their animal or thing. It doesn't even have to be anything.

SPEAKER_05 11:03

Yeah, I I was thinking outside animals even. I was like, do I want to be a plant?

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Or a people again. I mean, I don't know who in the hell would do that. Well, no, thanks. I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

If you grew up in the 80s, you remember the music, the malls, the mixtapes. But some of us also remember something else. Feeling alone, feeling unseen, trying to survive things. No one should have to survive. My Hearts of Glass book series by Pat Green isn't just a love story set under neon lights. It's about survivors trying to find each other. It's about found family. It's about the kind of love that doesn't fix the past, but helps you build a future. If you've ever needed a reminder that you are not broken, that healing is possible, that love can be safe. Come visit the world of Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World and its sequel, Hearts of Glass Fade Away and Radiate. Find the books, paperback, ebook, or audiobook on PackGreenauthor.com. Because your story did not end in the eighties. It's still being written.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

I did learn a cool fact this week. I don't remember where I saw it, but back in the eighties, um Charlie Brown's sister Sally.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Sure.

SPEAKER_05 12:22

Do you know who voiced her?

SPEAKER_03 12:24

I don't.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

Fergie. Really? Of the black-eyed peas. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. I thought that was a very interesting fact. Fergalicious. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. And there was something. Oh, I remember. So we always talk about how stupid murderers are. Yes. Um, and all the dumb stuff they do. And one of the dumb things that they do is Google what they need to do to murder somebody. Right. So I'm watching a murder show the other day, and it took place, hmm, I don't know how long ago. It was a while ago, but there were libraries, so whatever time period that would be. Anyway, this lady poisons her husband and kills him. But before she did, she went to the library and checked out four books on poisonous plants. So it was early day. Google. And that's how they caught her. Because they found out that she had checked out these books.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

There's a lady on TikTok that um does she does the skit where her husband's like, what would you would you would you rat me out if I killed somebody? And she shuts all the blinds in the house and she's like, Not here. And she's like, Let's get in the car. And they go for a drive. And she was like, Where is it now? And he's like, What are you talking about? And she was like, Did you dump it yet? Is it sitting somewhere? Where is it? How did you do it? And he was like, I said, if. And she's like, Where is it? And she was like, Is it in the water? Did we have to go get we gotta get it? We gotta, and she's going through all this stuff. And he's like, You're a psycho. What is wrong with you? And she's like, Does that answer your question? And he was like, Yeah. It's really funny.

SPEAKER_05 14:21

That is so cute. I wish I liked watching videos. They sound fun.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Oh, they are. TikTok's great. Yeah. It's a great time waster. Yeah. Especially like I'm into like all the little skits. So there's like this waitress that I follow, and she does like restaurant skits. And and I feel like people watch those and are like, yeah, okay. And I'm like, nope, that 100% happens. I I know that for a fact. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Seen it myself. Yep.

unknown 14:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Like one today was like, um, well, I want the lady ordered a salad with no cheese and then ordered chicken Alfredo, and she wanted ranch on the salad, and then kept going on and on and how great that non-dairy Alfredo was. And the lady's like, that's not non-dairy. And she was like, I told you I didn't want cheese. How did you not know that was I didn't want dairy? And I was like, that 100% happens.

SPEAKER_05 15:18

Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Where they maybe you just don't like cheese on your salad.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:23

And who doesn't know that Alfredo has cream in it?

SPEAKER_03 15:26

Well, she thought it was all non-dairy. Because when she told the waitress that she didn't want cheese, she assumed that the waitress knew that she didn't eat dairy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:36

When's the last time you were in a restaurant that had non-dairy Alfredo?

SPEAKER_03 15:40

No. Unless it's a specialized like vegan.

SPEAKER_05 15:43

Right, which we don't go to.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

So we don't know. We have not been in a restaurant that has to be. Vegans are great people, but I would eat them first. They probably taste like cow.

unknown 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

They eat what cows eat.

SPEAKER_05 15:56

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They wouldn't be able to do it. They're probably yummy. Slow roasted. Anything's good if you cook it in the slow cooker.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

What's everything we need? That's a good point. And I saw I saw somewhere that um because we're Americans are so fat and lazy. So fat that our thighs are becoming marbolized. And I was like, oh, I know. I got that mental note. Take the thigh first. Marbelize. Melt that fat down. Oh Lord.

Where To Find The Show

Grunge Goals And Sound Definition

SPEAKER_05 16:40

I know. All right. Get to serious business. Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, so like, share, rate, review. Uh, you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find us on all the socials at like whatever pod. We're on YouTube at like whatever. You can send an email to likekwhateverpod at gmail.com and you can check out our website at likewhateverpod.com. You can do all of those things. Yes. And please reach out on one of those and let us know what you would be reincarnated at. And obviously you can get very specific. I did. Yes, she did. Um, so this week we're gonna fuck around and she doesn't even know this yet. We're fucking around and finding out about some grunge songs. Oh boy. Yeah, yeah. It's I yeah. I gotta say, I had writer's block this week. I don't know if podcasters get writer's block, but I think they do. Just nothing. I have a list, the length of my arm and my phone of topics, and none of them were jumping out at me. But talking about music is always good, so let's do it. Yeah, it is fun. And I listen to Grunge all the way down here to get ready.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

I get asked all the time, well, what are you gonna do when you run out of topics? And I'm like, Well, I don't think that we will, because like you could literally just go and talk about anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over the last like 50, 60 years.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

So exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

So fear not.

SPEAKER_05 18:11

Or even older.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Or anything. If it's we could literally talk about anything we want.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

You can make anything gen X.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

It's our podcast. Exactly. And we're Gen X, so yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:20

You know what I realized? That we one of us could do um a script on is the Long Island Killer, the one that's they just got. Yeah. He started in the 90s. Yeah. That makes him Gen X to me. Yeah. I think we should cover the we should do us a crime. You know I love true crimes. Do us a true crime just for shits and giggles.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

We just did one a couple of weeks ago. That is true. The truth. Every few weeks we have to bring a true crime in.

SPEAKER_05 18:47

It's just so much fun. All right. So my um resour our sources this week were uh Americansongwriter.com and songmeaningsandfacts.com. So what I did was I just kind of went through really my playlist on Spotify.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Oh god, it's all Pearl Jam.

SPEAKER_05 19:08

That's the funny thing, is I, because I love you so much, I did not do a single Pearl Jam song. Oh my god. I was like, for Heather's sake, we all know Pearl Jam. I don't need to talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Oh god. 10. She had 10 on Reapy. Literally. It was either that or the soundtrack of cats. Or Enya. I don't remember Enya. I just remembered.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

I was born when I was alone, relaxing. Yeah. And and cats. I almost did even flow by Pearl Jam because we have a connection to that song. And a friend used to love to sing it when he got high. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? And he only knew the words even flow. So he would just sit there and sing Evenflow over and over again. Yeah. Alrighty. So anyway, yes, I went through my playlist. I found some songs that I like, and I looked them up just to like see what they mean. Um it this wasn't as easy of a task as you would think because um a lot of grunge songs are about the same thing. Yeah. Like I didn't do any Alice and Change because they're all about drugs. Um same thing with um I can't remember the name of the band, but the do do do. Oh yeah. Same channel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All their songs are about drugs.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

So is that 311? No. No.

SPEAKER_05 20:35

It's I can't believe I can't remember. I can't either. So here are Third Eye Blind. Third eye blind. It had a three in it. You were right. All right, so here are some key characteristics of grunge music.

SPEAKER_04 20:52

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_05 20:53

Uh the music style is a fuse of heavy metals, slow tempos, and sludgy riffs with punk's raw energy.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Okay. Did you see what I was wearing today? Uh I even though I didn't know. Oh, you wore flannel. Flannel. Because I bought this flannel. I bought a flannel a couple weeks ago. No. Over in October, which was a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Something like that. Um for my costume. Oh, yeah. And then I forgot how much how great flannels were. So then I bought this black and white one.

unknown 21:28

I know.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

I've been serious. And I wear it every day.

SPEAKER_05 21:31

I've been seriously thinking about bringing back the long sleeve t-shirt under the short sleeve shirt. All the time. I still do it. It's it was such a comfortable way to dress.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

And I still do it at work. In the wintertime, I still wear a long sleeve shirt under I need to get back to that. And I also have on a tank top under the shirt.

SPEAKER_05 21:49

Do I have on a tank today? I don't. All right. Um the sound is heavily distorted electric guitars, often used. Using sludgy riffs combined with dynamic shifts between quiet verses and loud explosive choruses. Even flow.

SPEAKER_06 22:09

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 22:11

Um vocals are ranging from mumbled and melancholic to screaming or growling, reflecting emotional turmoil. We're all so sad. Yeah. Angst was a big thing back then. Uh the lyrics often focus on themes of social alienation, apathy, self-doubt, depression, and distrust of authority.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

Fuck the man.

SPEAKER_05 22:37

And the production known for a raw garage band quality rather than polished mainstream sounds. Yeah. So that is your legal definition. Legal definition of grumble. It was funny because I kept Googling, I'd be like, uh, what's the meaning behind? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And every time it was like angst, depressing. And I'm like, yes, I know. So I had to actually go through a lot of songs to find ones that weren't all about the same thing. But I think I still got some in here.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

And that's like going through Morrissey songs trying to find one that's not sad.

Nirvana In Bloom Explained

SPEAKER_05 23:14

Yeah, self-loathing is another big uh big theme. All right, so uh the first song is In Bloom by Nirvana. So um Nirvana was, you know, kind of like an underground uh band, obviously. Yeah. Grungy. Grunge. Yeah. Um, so the underground shows were soon populated with jocks and shallow mainstream types. Um and Kurt Cobain. The norms. Uh huh. The Normies. Yep. And Kurt Cobain wrote In Bloom in reaction to the jocks in the crowd. Uh then came the mass hysteria that followed the release of Nirvana's second album, Nevermind. Uh, the brilliant irony is that the tune is so catchy that millions of people actually do sing along to it. In Bloom arrived when Nirvana was still signed to an independent label, but its earworm hook proved to be press prescient? Pre prescient?

SPEAKER_04 24:17

Huh? Prescient. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_05 24:20

Anyway, of the extraordinary fame ahead of them. Yeah, I think prescient. Um, as Nirvana grew in popularity, Cobain watched the clubs fill with individuals he opposed. He couldn't control who liked his band, and certainly not the kind of scales he'd soon face. So he wrote a chorus mocking the machismo he spotted, perhaps enjoying a little shot in frude, watching them sing along. I love that word. I know. So the chorus is he's the one who likes all our pretty songs and he likes to sing along and he likes to shoot his gun, but he knows not what it means. Yep. Knows not what it means.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

It's the same for me as the um the the um the people that sing not Alice in chains. Oh my god. It's the same as the people who sing Rage Against the Machine, but don't realize what machine they're raging against. Exactly. And they just want to sing uh fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. But they forgot the other parts of the song.

SPEAKER_05 25:39

It's like me in the second grade walking home from school singing, We don't need no education.

unknown 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:53

Yeah, so I guess um shocking, Kirk Cobain was bullied in school.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Get out of here.

SPEAKER_05 26:01

So these uh these guys that were coming to the his shows were the same guys that were bullying him in high school. I don't believe it for a second. Uh the band wore dresses in the music video to further antagonize the guys he viewed as homophobic. Director Kevin Kersley created a parody of the Ed Sullivan show where Nirvana appears as a wholesome pop group smiling and playing their safe music for the screaming teens. Then the clip shifts to Nirvana trashing the stage in dresses. And it was one of my favorite videos of the 90s.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Um what a wild time to be alive. If you think about like the 80s and 90s, like there's so much bullshit right now over gender neutral and gender this, and everybody gets bent out of shape because this guy wears a dress. And meanwhile, we had David Bowie, and we had you know, Adam Ann, and we had every boy George, we had all of them, and they were all wearing dresses.

SPEAKER_05 27:01

I think that about so many things, and it's just so ridiculous how people just continue to think these stupid thoughts like people complain about how girls dress nowadays. Yeah. And especially like teenage girls, and why do their mothers let them dress like that? If you look back in the 20s, yeah, any era really, yeah, there are very scantily clad women everywhere all the time.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

All the time. That's how we have always dressed. I mean, low-rise jeans, if that doesn't that you were scantily clad if you bent over.

SPEAKER_05 27:33

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, everything's been short, everything's been tight, everything's been revealing. It's always, always been that way.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

It's cloth, people. It's cloth. Who cares? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 27:47

And it's a body, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

Move on.

SPEAKER_05 27:49

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

Actually, if you don't want to look at it, don't look at it.

SPEAKER_05 27:53

I almost got in a conversation, but I nipped it in the bud last week. I was at a um high school event, like a career fair, and one of the people I was there with um started to make a comment because I was like, oh my god, that girl's outfit is so cute. Like, I would kill to be that young again and get to be able to dress like that. Like they look so adorable. And um there's this one girl you would have loved. Her hair was parted in the middle and longer than shoulder length, and one half was black, and the other half was like that fluorescent yellow green. Oh my god, I was like, oh my god, I love your hair. She's like, Thank you. Like she was so excited. But um, yeah, so they started to say something negative about the girls, and I'm like, I'm just glad they changed. They they don't really have a dress code for kids anymore. Like your shorts have to go down to your fingertips, and you can't have your belly sticking out, or I'm like, that's how girls dress. Like, teach your boys to behave themselves, thank you. Not teaching our girls that they have to put more clothes on.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Right, they're dressing your boy can walk around without a shirt on all day long. Exactly. And his shorts hanging down to where you can see his treasure trail. Yep, but meanwhile, everybody freaks out if a girl wears a tank top that's not three fingers wide. Right. Or she shows a little bit of her belly, yeah. Get over it. Teach your boys not to be gross. Yeah. Teach your boys not to rape. How about that?

SPEAKER_05 29:17

Yeah, there we go. There we go. Okay. So bassist uh Chris Novoselic told Rolling Stone the earliest version of In Bloom sounded like bad brains. But then Kurt went home and he hammered it. Uh, he kept working on it, then he called me on the phone and said, Listen to this song. He started singing it on the phone. You could hear the guitar. It was the in bloom of Nevermind, uh more of a pop thing. In the band's early days, Novaselex said they listened to the Beatles, the smithereen, and heavy metal. We had one tape we listened to uh in the van. This was before we recorded Bleach, he said. On one side was the smithereens, on the other side was the heavy metal band Celtic Frost. That tape was always getting played, turned over and over again. I think back now and go, yeah, maybe that was an influence. It's like me and 10. Um, still signed to sub pop, uh, Nirvana recorded in Bloom in 1990 with producer Butch Vig at his Smart Studios in Madison, Wisconsin. The first recording was part of a demo tape used to court major record labels. It featured Chad Channing on drums, and the band filmed a music video for the song in New York City. In 1991, they record re-recorded in Bloom at Sound City Studios in Van Nuys, California, with their new drummer, Dave Grohl.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

I've heard of him.

SPEAKER_05 30:53

The arrangement on Nevermind is similar to the Smart Studio demo, with Grohl mostly replicating what Channing had played. Grohl's backing vocals feature prominently on the second version. The high harmonies and Cobain's double-tracked lead voice gave Nirvana its pop sheen. However, Cobain avoided the glossy veneer of Nevermind on this band's Steve Albini Records follow-up in Utero. He, like Albini, wanted to present the band as raw as possible. Novaselic called Nevermind a safe record and said it's a pop album with heavy guitars. Pop, of course, is short for popular, and Nevermind was a massive commercial success. Nirvana unwittingly led a wave of culture shifting grunge bands.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:42

But part of the shift included enormous audiences full of kinds of people who bullied Cobain in high school. He couldn't stop it, so he did the thing that got him there in the first place. He wrote another anthem. So that is where In Bloom came from. Lovely. Mm-hmm.

unknown 31:59

Mm-hmm.

Dinosaur Jr And Emotional Numbness

SPEAKER_05 32:00

All right. My next one is Feel the Pain by Dinosaur Jr. Do you remember this one? Nope. Okay. You want to pause and listen to it before I start talking about it? All right. So we're all caught up. Yep. Okay. Dinosaur Jr.'s Feel the Pain isn't merely a track that reverberates with the distorted echoes of the 90s alternative scene. It's a sonic journey through the human psyche. The song, a standout track from their 1994 album Without a Sound, weaves a tapestry of emotional disconnect, uh, capturing a feeling that resonates deeply with the Era's sense of individualism and the zeitgeist of Generation X. I almost couldn't read Era. So that's how tired my brain is. It's a very tiring time right now. It really is. And the allergy thing. Oh my god. Good lord.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

It just needs to rain like heavy. It does. And get the shit out of here.

SPEAKER_05 33:06

It needs to rain so bad.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

Everything is yellow right now.

SPEAKER_05 33:09

It is. And we're in a drought. That's just too much. One day we're going to turn this into a weather podcast. Right. We talk a lot about the weather. I mean, we have weird weather here. We do. The declarative repetition, I feel the pain of everyone, then I feel nothing, serves as both a mantra and a paradox, inviting a deeper explorer exploration of the song's lyrical content. Through its grunge-infused riffs and plain plaintive vocals, feel the pain, ask questions about empathy, isolation, and the human condition. Areas often left uncharted in the landscape of rock lyrics. Although I'm pretty sure I just said that all grunge songs have all those things in them.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

But anyway, that's why I like different points of view. I think that's why probably why I identify. I love isolation. I am built for isolation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

I really am too. I got home Friday after work. I don't think I left the house until yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

You lucky son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_05 34:20

I stayed home Saturday and Sunday for the weekend. Monday's work from home day and I did not have to leave. Tuesday's work from home day, but I did have to leave.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

I think I think I think to myself, I wish I was doing something, but I don't I don't know why I think that. Like I like sometimes I'm like I feel like I I'm sad because I'm not speaking to anyone. But then I'm like, but I don't want to speak to anyone. Like I feel like I sometimes I think I feel like I'm supposed to do these things, like I'm supposed to want to have human interaction, and then I'm supposed to want to, you know, hang out with people because other people want to hang out with people. But when it comes push comes to shove and somebody's like, hey, we're going out to dinner, do you want to go? And I'm like, no, no, I don't. I do not. But then I sit at home and I'm like, oh man, I'm kind of bored. I should do things. And then when someone brings me the opportunity, I'm like, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 35:24

Or even just sitting at home, I'll be like, all right, I have all day to get something done. And then around about four, I'm like, eh, day shot. I might as well just sit here and keep watching TV. Yeah. There's no time to do anything now. Yeah, I am super good at being lazy. Yeah, me too. Super good. I did get a lot done this weekend around the house, like cleaning and laundry and all that fun stuff.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I just feel like I sometimes I think that I I think it's well, I think I think I'm lonely. But I'm not. I think I just think I'm supposed to be lonely.

SPEAKER_05 36:01

It's funny, I had a similar conversation with my therapist during our last session. Because when I first I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm going through a divorce, and when I first left, I felt like I needed to figure out who I am and what I want to do. And so I made all these grand plans. I'm gonna go walking in on nature trails and I'm gonna join a yoga class and I'm gonna do this and that. And then I realized I really don't want to do those things. They're always just things I was like, man, if I could, I would do this and that. And when it really comes down, I I mean, I took a few walks in the woods and I was like, Yeah, this is boring.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Yeah. I'd rather be sitting at home. And that's what happens to me. Yeah, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do things because I'm supposed to, because I think I would like to talk to people. And then I go and like one person and I'm like, oh yeah, this is awful. No, this is not what I want to be doing. This is I wish I was at home right now. So I don't know where I want to be. I don't know what that means about me that I can't make up my mind.

SPEAKER_05 37:02

Yeah, I don't know, but I feel like I understand that. Like, or a friend I haven't seen in a while. I should I should connect and we should go. And then I'm like, eh.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

I know. I think all the time I think, you know what, Nicole and I should go do that. I'm like, oh yeah, I don't want to do that. I know. I do that all the time too. I was thinking, well, we should we can meet in Rehoba. Oh no, I don't want to drive all the way back up to Rehoba. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 37:25

I think about it on days when we record early on the way down. I'm like, oh, we can go get dinner. I think about it too. And then we get done, I'm like, I just want to go home and sit on my couch. And that's why we're best friends for 30 years. Yes. We are very different in a lot of ways, but we are the same in the ones that count. We're very good not spending time together.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

We say we should spend more time together a lot. Yeah, we do. We do. But with them, we're like, but we don't actually want to. So yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 38:02

Too much energy. Yeah. All right. Let's see here. Where was I? This refrain echoes the sentiment of a generation disillusioned by the promises of a pre-millennial world where the rapid influx of information may bearing the weight of global suffering a near daily occurrence. Um Jay Maskis, the mastermind behind the band, taps into this collective numbness, a defense mechanism against the onslaught of universal agony. When Maskis sings, is it up to me? You won't wait to see. There's an underlying conflict between personal agency and fatalism. This aspect of the song touches on the theme of control in one's life and relationships where actions seem futile against the overarching storyline of existence. The resignate resignation in his voice underscores a sense of helplessness that is further amplified by the idea that the decision to stick around, to confront the outcomes isn't solely uh in the individual's hands. The song probes whether there's truly captains of our destiny or merely passengers along for the ride. Huh.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Should be our next hypothetical.

SPEAKER_05 39:22

For your turn. Take your turn. I did take my turn. Wait for your turn. Uh feel the pain delves deeper than a cursory cry of distress, encapsulating the complex layers of modern alienation. The music builds a bridge between individualistic narratives and collective experiences, suggesting that perhaps understanding each other's pain is the first step toward alleviating our own. Boo. Boo. I have my own, I have enough of my own pain. I don't need anybody else.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

I don't need your pain. Go deal with your own pain on your own.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

Go sit on your couch and do nothing. It's good for you. Go deal with it that way, like the rest of us.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

Push it down like the rest of us.

SPEAKER_05 40:06

Yes, yes, yes. Um, and and eat. Stress eating is really helpful. Um, in this interpretation, the song becomes an ode to connection through disconnection. Feeling everything so intensely leads to an inevitable burnout, a withdrawal we experience in self-preservation, which inadvertently unites us in our shared sense of isolation. The line screwed us both again, about as close as you dare, hint at the betrayal and trust issues that are frequently revisited themes in Dinosaur Jr.'s music. Coupled with the song's grungy undertones, these lines resonate with listeners who have felt let down by those within their innermost circles. That's why you gotta get rid of the inner circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right back to the alone on the couch thing. Um, the fear circles. The fear of getting too close, of being vulnerable to another's reckless whims can be felt viscerally in the music, providing a cathartic release for anyone who has encountered such relational turmoil. These closing lines bring a rawness to the song's conclusion, offering a plea for integrity in a world muddled with conceived motives and hidden agendas. Man, it's like he wrote this song for today. The appeal to keep it clean serves as both a call for transparency and a yearning for a simpler approach to our interactions. With its evocative guitar uh work and earnest vocals, the song leaves us with a lingering aftertaste of what it means to live authentically amidst the chaos of human emotion and connection. It's a stark reminder that even the messiest feelings have their place in the spectrum of what it means to feel alive. Huh. That would have been a great lead-in to Alive by Pearl Jam. But I spared you Pearl Jams. Thank God. I intentionally did that. Plus, you want to talk about songs that are full of angst and self-loathing. We don't need to hear any Pearl Jam.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

No Pearl Jam today.

Nearly Lost You And Old Selves

SPEAKER_05 42:18

All right, my next song is Not Pearl Jam. Woo! Nearly Lost You by the Screaming Trees. I do know this one. Oh, yay. We don't have to pause for her to listen. Amidst the grunge uh revolution of the early 90s, Screaming Trees Nearly Lost You surfaced as an anthem of perseverance and emotional turmoil. There we go again with these themes. The rich tapestry of the lyrics, coupled with Mark Lenigan's gritty and impassioned delivery, takes listeners on a journey through the shadowy forest of the human psyche. As the track drives forward with a sense of urgency underscored by Gary Lee Connor's guitar riffs, it beckons us to peel back its layers. It's time to dive deep into the echoing cries and the haunting sins as we explore the profound musings encapsulated encapsulated in this timeless piece. The repeated motif of a distant cry reverberates throughout nearly lost you, hinting at the inescapability of the past. But it's more than mere reminiscence. It's a siren song that lures the protagonist back to their sin. This evocation evocation language steers us toward the interpretation that this sin could be a metaphor for past mistakes, old habits, or a life once led and nearly abandoned, a haunting reminder that the old self is never entirely lost.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

Yep, no matter where you go, there you are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You can move all over the country, but until you fix that person you were, it's gonna come right back.

SPEAKER_05 43:59

Preach. Uh, the mention of the one you knew before adds layers of complexity, suggesting a confrontation with one's own history or a relationship that's seen the ebbs and flows of trial and tribulation. This confrontation carries the weight of self-reflection and the potential for renewal. The chorus chance an anthem of closeness to loss. I nearly lost you there. It's a confession, uh, almost whispered, written with the tension of what could have been. Uh, the loss the song suggests isn't merely physical, it's intimate, existential. Uh, the song definitely explores how close we can come to losing someone, uh, which in turn shapes our identity, our path, and the course of our relationships. Yeah, I connected with this one a little bit. Um the repetition of this song sears the message into the listener's mind. Near misses can be as transformative as direct hits. They can usher us into a reaffirmation of bonds or a renewed understanding of ourselves, force us to reckon with the precariousness of the connections we forge that forge our world. The lyrics mobilize the imagery of a journey with drag me far enough to know I'm blind every mile that you burn. Here, screaming trees venture into the realm of the traveler's tale, where each mile unfolds an expansive narrative of the soul's odyssey. The rider that's fallen is vivid and visceral. It points to failure to a uh points to failure to a stumble that occurs despite the forward march. There's an embrace of the unknown in the acknowledgement of blindness, a willingness to push on even without sight, and encapsulates encapsulates the essence of a profound, if somewhat fraught, personal evolution that recognizes the cost of progress. The switch from distant cry to distant lie is more than a mere play on words. It introduces the theme of deceit, whether self-deception or external forces of untruth. This lyric pivot uh challenges the listener to change or to question the nature of the calls that pull at our consciousness. Are they genuine or are they masquerades of deeper fears and desires? Another, what would you rather?

SPEAKER_03 46:27

You know, it's funny because I have seen a lot of people saying that menopause is you becoming who you were when you were a teenager but loving her this time.

SPEAKER_05 46:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

I love that. Yep. And not just just don't give a fuck. Like, cause you just don't give a fuck at this point.

SPEAKER_05 46:52

Right now we don't give a fuck. Back then we just were who we were. We didn't know the world and what was gonna what was in store for us. And we were just our authentic selves, but now definitely back to authentic selves. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Apparently, I was always meant to be alone. Um The line, well, let's try to sleep now invokes a sense of weariness after battle. It's an attempt to find peace after the chaos, to reclaim a semblance of normalcy. Um, these select phrases encapsulate the core sentiment of the human condition, our battles, our close calls, and our undying quest for solace amongst the storms. Ain't that the truth, though, man? Like it's just one storm after another. It just doesn't end. It really doesn't. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 47:49

Till sweet, sweet death. Then you then is when the real fun starts. When you become a gay man's dog. And you get carried everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

Yeah. Yeah.

Hole Doll Parts And Cobain Talk

SPEAKER_05 48:05

And putting it that out there into the energies that you might get that. I hope so. Like, how did the universe know that's what you wanted if you didn't say it? Good point. Okay, we know what we're doing with her when the next one is uh by a band that I've always loved, even though I can't stand her either. Um, so this is Dull Parts by Hole.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

I fucking love I love this song. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 48:33

And I love Hole. And I love, hate Courtney Love so much.

SPEAKER_06 48:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:40

Like I adore her, but she's so annoying. Yeah, this song is awesome. Actually, I've been listening to a lot of Hole lately, like the past month. I don't know why, but Miss World and Violet. Oh my gosh, so many good ones. All right. In 1991, Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon co-produced Hole's debut album. Pretty on the inside was the first musical introduction to Courtney Love, who had a brief stint singing for Faith No More in the early 1980s, and later appeared in a small acting role, uh, including Alex Cox's Sid and Nancy in 1986 and Straight to Hell with the Clash's Joe Strummer in 1987. The album had moderate success while Love began dating Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain and gave birth to their daughter Frances Bean a year later, which again, I know we've said it before, but Frances Bean and Tony Hawk's son getting married is the most Gen X thing that could ever happen. Ever possibly happened. 100%. Like their baby will come out wearing a flannel and skater shoes. Um within three years, after Pretty on the Inside, Love, along with Hole co-founder and guitarist Eric Erlanson, uh started composing the band's second offering, Live Through This. Released in 1994, the same year as Cobain's death, Live Through This featured a number of top 20 hits, along with the band's breakout single, Doll Parts, which peaked at number four on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart. In a bathroom during a friend's house party in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Love said she wrote doll parts in 20 minutes. I had to write most of the lyrics on my arm in Sharpie as I ran out of paper. People were pounding on the door as I wrote it. It was played for the first time about an hour later at the Virgin Megastore in Boston. Love recorded doll parts for the first time in November of 1991 for an acoustic performance on John Peel's BBC show, Peel Sessions, and later admitted that the song leaned on some of the aches and pains she felt early on in her relationship with Cobain. It was about a boy whose band had just left town who I'd been sleeping with, who I heard was sleeping with two other girls, explained Courtney in an Instagram post in 2020. It was my way of saying, You're a fucking idiot if you don't choose me. And here is all the desire and fury and love that I feel for you.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

That really didn't go very well, though.

SPEAKER_05 51:28

Love might have ended badly. Love ended uh with good songs, don't always come in 20 minutes, but the force was strong, and that one did. Anyway, I married that guy.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

You sure did.

SPEAKER_05 51:42

For for a spell. Yep. Is there any more information?

SPEAKER_03 51:50

I refuse to reopen the case.

SPEAKER_05 51:52

That's it. Yeah. But why?

SPEAKER_03 51:57

Don't know.

SPEAKER_05 51:59

Alright. Okay. Something had to have been covered up.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

100%.

SPEAKER_05 52:05

So in like 50 years are they allowed to release it? Isn't that when like I mean eventually when most contracts end?

SPEAKER_03 52:12

Well, no, it's not that. It's that there's no they say there's no evidence to spark a reinvestigation. So somebody has to come with like case close evidence to reopen it that it was not suicide.

SPEAKER_05 52:31

Gotcha. So it's like overturning a call. Yeah. Football. Yeah. Once they've made the call, it's really hard to overturn. You gotta, you gotta come with some evidence.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

I feel like you told me evidence though that should there is some, but they say it's not enough. Let's cover up. It looks that way.

Nicole’s 1984 Diary Eclipse Day

SPEAKER_05 52:56

Yeah. Alright, before we do the next song, we are going to do Nicole's diary.

SPEAKER_03 53:02

Oh yeah. Nicole's diary. Nicole.

SPEAKER_05 53:05

Dude, play music.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

Because I read your T alike.

SPEAKER_05 53:19

Alright. Uh this week in Nicole's 1984 diary. We are on May 30th. It is a Wednesday. Last week we were on May 16th a Wednesday. Oh my god, we're skipping days. Yeah, this is so me. Like my therapist had me start a journal like nine months ago, and I've written it maybe five times.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

I can't do journals.

SPEAKER_05 53:37

I don't know. I can't. I try. I try. I try to. I just it doesn't feel natural to me. Me either. Sometimes I'll like have a thought and I'll be like, all right, I'll write this down. So I'll write it down. And then I sit there and try to force myself to think of other things to write. And then I'm just like, but I've only written like three sentences. So I'm like, this is dumb. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. But luckily, I have a therapist who she knows me and she's like, all right, if this isn't gonna work, let's not do it. And she she really loves that um I hate like hallmarky way to go, good for you, yeah kind of crap. And she'll be like, I know you hate this, but you've I've noticed this and you're doing well. And I'm like, whatever. Don't care. Shut up. Still don't feel great. All right, cool. Um, all right, Wednesday, May 30th, 1984. Today was I wrote okay and scratched it out. It was not okay then, and then I said awful day. Oh god, and I spelled awful. Mind you, I was 11.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

I still can't spell it though.

SPEAKER_05 54:43

A-L-F-A-L. I mean, good enough for me. I sounded it out, that's for sure. Um, everything went wrong. Heard to begin with, it was raining. There you go. Next, Dawn was absent. You know somebody was absent. Then there was an eclipse that was going to happen where the moon passed over the sun and it was too cloudy to see it.

SPEAKER_03 55:11

I remember that. Oh my god. I remember that. That's awesome. I remember getting the glasses. I do remember that. Yay! I remember and we couldn't see it.

SPEAKER_05 55:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it sucked. Ruined my whole day. Yeah. Um, let's see what else happened now. Last, I was going to ask Mike to go with me, and he said no. What the Mike? Right? Seriously? How could you say no to this? Um the only thing that went right was I got my yearbook. That is good news. It was just one of those days. Just one of those days. Rough day stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Rough day. Just one. Yeah, you're right. It was definitely Olympus Kit kind of day. That's awesome. You remember that eclipse, though.

SPEAKER_03 56:15

I do. I very much remember that eclipse. And I very much remember the glasses. Mm-hmm. Because I didn't have the glasses. And so we made the little cups. And you made the cup so that you could see it. Yeah. But it didn't, it was cloudy. So we didn't get to see it. Yep. Yep. I very much remember. See, it ruined your day too. It did. I would have written in my journal that it was just devastatingly awful. Awful. Yeah. I would have spelled awful just as badly. I still would spell awful just as badly. I just avoid the word because I have no idea how to spell it. And I'm okay with that. Just like when I go play blackjack, at this point, I used to be very self-conscious about not being able to do math fast. Now I don't care. And I'm like, I don't know how many is that. I don't get paid to do math. You do. So tell me how many that is. Now many more I need. Now, nope. I don't want to spell things. I can't if I can't spell it, then I can't spell it. Too bad. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:20

I will definitely change a word if I can't figure out how to spell it. I don't, I don't care. And sometimes I can't spell it so much that autocorrect can't figure out. I will spell it like four or five different ways and not, it's like, no, sorry, dude. It's yeah, we're we're just not even going to write that down at all. Yep.

unknown 57:36

Same problem.

Been Caught Stealin And Why It Works

SPEAKER_05 57:38

All right. My next song is Been Caught Stealin' by Jane's Addiction. I have a love-hate relationship with Jane's addiction. Do you? I can understand that. I I get it. Why? Yeah. Do you have reason?

SPEAKER_03 57:51

I have many reasons that one I do not wish to discuss at this point. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 57:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 57:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 57:57

I just But like back in the day, how did you feel about Jane's addiction?

SPEAKER_03 58:03

I just was, I don't, I I had a love hate with him. Mm-hmm. Um I it's Perry, I think I have the issue with. He's hard to love. Yeah. But he's also pretty amazing. I just, I don't know. I don't know what it is about. I think it's the same thing. I think my issue with Jane's addiction is the same thing I have with Nirvana. And you two. It's that I'm supposed to like them. But I don't. Yeah. But I know every word to every song. Right.

SPEAKER_05 58:48

I got you.

SPEAKER_03 58:49

I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I think that's it.

SPEAKER_05 58:52

Like I just That's how I feel about Mariah Carey.

SPEAKER_03 58:55

I just flat out don't like Mariah Carey. I do know every word to every song.

SPEAKER_05 58:59

Exactly. And I feel like I should like her, and I can't stand her.

SPEAKER_03 59:03

You know who recently I have come to appreciate a little bit more and have been listening to more of, and I don't know why. I do know why, kind of, because Sabrina Carpenter. No. There was a TikTok going around and it played. It was her. But uh Celine Dion.

SPEAKER_05 59:20

Really?

SPEAKER_03 59:21

I I I I'm sorry, but I can I love Celine. I can't jump on board with that. I love her.

SPEAKER_05 59:26

I have never, ever, ever liked her.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

I just have a new appearance. I think it was also when she did the uh carpool karaoke. She's fucking hilarious. Every time she does, she's fucking funny. She does like she will make fun of herself. Watch the carpool karaoke she's with. Or is it that one or the other one? Okay. Whatever one she, it's she's hilarious. All right. We'll see. She is. I can't stand her music.

SPEAKER_05 59:56

All right. An anthemic ode to kleptomania or a deeper dissection of consumerist culture. Jane's addiction, been caught stealing, is a song that straddles the divide between brazen rock and roll rebellion and a satirical swipe at society's materialistic cravings. The track, uh, emblematic of the early 90s alt-rock explosion, veils a complex tapestry of meaning beneath its surface-level glorification of shoplifting. I really do love this song. Um, the song's unabashed honesty, coupled with a raucous blend of funk and punk, uh, catapulted it into the annals, annals, into Uranus. Um, the annals of music history. We're diving into the intricate layers of been caught stealing, optimizing your understanding of this seemingly straightforward track that has managed to perplex and thrill audiences for decades. At first, listen, the song's lyrics read like a confession booth diary entry, a shoplifting spree recollected with a sense of pride. The narrator not only boasts about the act, but declares an unapologetic adoration for the thrill it provides. This attitude taps into a primordial part of the human psyche, reveling in the chaotic energy of breaking the rules. Yet, this isn't a simple glorification of crime. It's a glimpse into a persona that finds freedom outside society's norms. The act of stealing becomes an act of rebellion, of taking control in a world where individuals often feel powerless against the machine of commerce and prescribed social order. Being caught stealing could be heard uh as a sardonic laugh at the heart of capitalist culture. While the actions described are plainly illegal, the inherent critique is of a society that stokes endless desire. The characters in the song exhibit a sense of entitlement to the objects of their lust, reflecting the consumer mantra of ownership equaling happiness. Furthermore, the song can be interpreted as an assault against the very concept of possession by asserting that if they get by, it's mine. The lyrics challenge the listener to reconsider the value we place on material goods and the lengths we are willing to go to in order to acquire them. What truly makes the song relatable to many is not the act of stealing itself, but the recognition of an inner urge to sidestep the rules. I never have that urge.

unknown 1:02:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:40

The protagonist of the song I love rules. The protagonist of the song doesn't steal out of necessity, but for sheer joy of it, the adrenaline rush that accompanies the act of taking something undetected. The lyrics capture a universal feeling, the itch to rebel against expected behavior, an experience that goes beyond age, upbringing, or morality. It's a poetic encapsulation of the momentary lapse that anyone at some point in their lives can appreciate if not endorse. Have you ever had the urge to steal? I did steal once.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:15

Were you a little kid?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

Maybe middle school. I stole a sweater from Benetton.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:24

Ooh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

I know.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:28

I used to um like back in my early 20s, I had that little klepto thing going on. Like I'd go to Walmart and accidentally leave the toilet paper on the bottom of the cart. Where the cashier couldn't see it. Uh-huh. Where you could innocently be like, oh my god, I totally didn't see it if they said anything, but I usually got away with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:50

Not that I did it a lot, but it there was a thrill to it though. Like I have a friend who is a kleptomaniac. Yeah. It's she does it at Walmart, and I keep saying, You should do it at Walmart. Walmart's a bad thing. Yeah, watch any true crime. Yeah. They record everything. Don't steal from Walmart, they know.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:08

Yeah, I think they have like cops and everything in those places. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:11

Um, go to Claire's or somewhere. She likes to the point where I don't think she listens. Um, she'll buy a plant and she'll shove stuff down in the dirt. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:26

It is a thing though. Yeah. I mean there are I'm an owner writer. Yes. I was gonna say there are people with money.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Yeah. But do it just for the thrill.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:34

Yeah, yep, exactly. Yeah. Luckily that phase passed and I never got arrested. So I don't know. I'm good. Yeah. I don't know about it. As long as I like stuff, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:45

I can't do it. I didn't feel good about it. I just I don't feel good about it. I just even from a major corporation like Benetton. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:53

And that is always the justification. It's Walmart. They're not gonna lose. I need the money more than they do. Yeah. But it's still stealing all the same. Yep. Um, another aspect of the song that resonates with listeners is the companionship to criminality. The narrator happily describes his partner as one too, or one also, um, showing there's a shared bond in this deviant behavior. It's an evocative uh portrayal of camaraderie that defies the law, a form of intimacy that that's forged in the act of mutual conspiracy. This detail in the lyrics serves a dual purpose. It not only deepens our understanding of the principal character, but also adds richness to the narrative, suggesting a shared identity and a sense of belonging through these unorthodox acts. Between the lines of rhythmic chants of ownership lies a more nuanced message. The constant repetition of mine mine mine mine becomes a mantra that blurs the line between possession and obsession. It brings forth an Essential question: How much of our identity is tied up in what we have rather than what we are? In this light, Bincot Stealin transforms into a metaphorical canvas, painting the picture of a culture caught in the endless cycle of wanting and taking. Jane's addiction cunningly embeds a reminder that sometimes the most honest expression of self comes from breaking away from the manic pursuit of possession.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:25

I disagree. Because how would you know me if you did not see my decapitated pig in a jar? True. I mean, I feel I mean, maybe for some people that just buy stuff like to fill a house, but for some of us, we buy stuff like decapitated pigs in jars. So I don't know what that says, but yeah, no, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:52

I knew I buy things that mean something to me. Like I don't just buy random stuff. Like I when I go on vacation, I'll never buy a magnet or a keychain or a t-shirt. I want a piece of art made by somebody locally, or like this bracelet I got on my last vacation has a stone in it that's only on that island where I was. Like I want those kinds of things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:18

Now I used to buy souvenir for my sister wherever I went, and she did the same for me. That was like the worst souvenir you could possibly find on earth. But that also means something because you put them on a shelf and people are like, oh my god, like that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen. You'd be like, Yes, well, my sister went to X, Y, and Z and she got it there. And they're like, What is wrong with her?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:49

I do love a souvent. Like my one friend, she's Moroccan, and she went home uh a couple years ago, and she brought me back a Morocco um magnet, but I freaking love that thing because it was in Morocco, like, oh my god, you know, and I have it hanging up in my office, like so I do love that, but for me personally, by myself, something like I don't just randomly it needs to have meaning to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:16

Yeah, I mean, I have a little stat again. I bought it, it's a little statue on my desk at work that is the grim reaper, and he's holding a little flag that says go you. I know. So, how would you know that I'm a weirdo if I didn't buy that?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:38

See, and that's that crap, uh, stupid hallmarky stuff that I hate that my the go you.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:44

It's the grim reaper doing it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:46

I think she figured that out because she was talking about the post it's on the mirror. I was like, I think that's a fantastic idea. I know a mom who does that for her teenage kids in the morning before they go to school, and I think that is a great way to start your kids' day. That shit doesn't work for me. No, they would be in my way. I would never read them. No, I would just tear them down and throw them out.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:05

Like, do you have a grim reaper with a little flag?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:07

That's what I'm saying though. See, I might feel in spot. Maybe if I could get like a little Taylor Swift statue with a flag that's a go you then.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

It's my emotional support reaper, is what it is called.

Where Is My Mind And Disconnection

SPEAKER_05 1:09:22

Perfect, perfect. I have a painting hanging in my office that my daughter painted when she was 11 years old. It's a white canvas with black, and it's very abstract looking. And I've had so many people say, Oh, who painted that painting? I'm like, my 11-year-old like 12 years ago. And they're always like, Oh, I guess it's not as impressive when you find out an 11-year-old, but I think it's really cool looking. Like that's what I want hanging up in there. That's all that matters, is what you think. Yep. All right. Next, Where is My Mind by the Pixies? Okay. You know this one. I do. Do you want to listen to it?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:00

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:01

Okay. When the Pixies released Where is My Mind in 1988, no one could have predicted the everlasting impact that this enigmatic piece of music would have on the alternative rock scene. Layered with an infectious guitar riff, haunting chorus, and surreal lyrics, this track from their album Surfer Rosa quickly cemented its place in the patheon of iconic songs. Yet believe yet, beneath its earworm melody, Where is my mind? carries with it a profound search for clarity amidst chaos, a theme that resonates with listeners even decades after its release. Diving deeper into the lyrics penned by frontman Black Francis and the swirling sonic landscape crafted by the band, we attempt to decode the existential uh questions that render this song as relevant today as it was at the tail end of the 80s. Recorded during a revolutionary time in music, whereas my mind emerged from the creative abyss of Black Francis' experiences. I wonder if his real first name was Black, like his Christian name, or if he that was his stage name. Um, allegedly inspired by a scuba diving adventure in the Caribbean, the imagery employed in the song captures an otherworldly sense of disconnection, a point when the metaphysical and aquatic realms collide, which sounds fantastic. Certainly does. Black Francis's distinctive yell and the um of Quiet versus Against the Wild Rock Discourse reflect the Pixie's trailblazing dynamic shifts, which influence the emerging grunge scene and bands like Nirvana. It's a masterclass in controlled musical explosion, uh, simulating the mental collapse of lyrics speak the lyrics speak of. While the surface narrative takes us through an encounter with talking fish, the true essence of Where is My Mind lies in its reflection of human disorientation and man mental fragility. We can relate to that. Absolutely. Uh, it's a metaphorical musing on the human condition echoing echoed by the sensation of feeling small and overwhelmed by the vastness of the world or the ocean, as the analogy goes. Uh for some, the rhetorical question, where is my mind, functions as an exploration of identity and consciousness. For others, it's an anthem of alienation, an apt soundtrack for moments when the ground beneath them seems to fall away. Joey Santiago's reverb-laden guitar lines provide a sonic foundation that is as bewildering as it is beautiful. It's a rift that veers on the edge of instability, much like the mental state in question, conveying a sense of buoyancy, almost mimicking floating or swimming. Kim Deal's bat bass and David Lovering's drums build upon this with a steadiness that contrasts the song's lyrical volatility, creating a perfectly balanced dichotomy. You can't you can't catch me. And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind? This emphatic mind serves as the fulcrum around which the entire song teeters and encapsulates the existential crisis and cognitive overload that can often paralyze us.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:56

Something I say almost literally every day.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:58

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:59

Where is my mind?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:02

The repeated refrain, way out in the water, see it swimming, allows listeners to visualize the mind as an entity separate from themselves, adrift and elusive. I didn't need the song to have that happen. It's a haunting reminder of the pursuit for meaning and the understanding within our own psyche. The cultural penetration of Where is My Mind is undeniable. It found renewed fame with its inclusion in the climax of the semi-annual film or some some seminal film. Um seminal film Fight Club tapping into Gen X's sense of disillusionment. I don't know if I've ever seen Fight Club. I haven't. I know what happens there, you don't talk about, but I don't even watch it.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:54

I didn't, I took it so seriously.

90s Playlists Then Final Wrap

SPEAKER_05 1:14:57

I was afraid I couldn't not tell what happened at Fight Club. So I just live in bliss. Um today it continues to be covered, sampled, and revered, signaling its timelessness in the universal search for self in a convoluted world. The song's ability to straddle the line between raw energy and reflective questioning has marked it out as endlessly fascinating. As listeners, we keep coming back to it, hoping to find the answer to the recurring question, or perhaps simply to find comfort in knowing that the search for one's mind is a shared experience. So, yeah, that's awesome. That was my little I just wanted to keep it real, real, real, real uh Gen X this week. Yeah. Keeping it real, keeping it real, kids. Wanted to share some of my favorite songs. I have been listening to a lot more 90s stuff here lately for some reason.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:50

So I go through phases where I listen to more 90s stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:57

The problem is I listen to it on like Spotify and stuff, and the playlists are so lame.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:03

And they play the same damn songs over and over.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:05

Every playlist has the same songs on it, and all the songs on it are ones that they wore out back when we were listening to them. So you have to actually go in, like, I'll try to find like if some obscure band or song does come up, I'm like, all right, let's find that playlist.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:20

And sometimes you can get some new stuff, but it is tricky. And then me trying to remember, especially in the 90s, there were so many bands, and they all name their songs weird things. And I can't, I don't remember what they all were. But but sometimes I will hear one, I'm like, oh my god, that's right. I love that song.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:38

Yeah. So that happens too. I'll hear something, um, and I'm like, oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:45

But clicking on 90s playlist is usually not very good.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:50

No, and the Amazon, the Alexa, plays too much differentness in the 90s. If you just ask her to play the 90s, it's like all over the place.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:01

And then even to back up that obscurity of these songs at this point that were so big back then, even when I was Googling these songs to like find stuff to write about them, it would they that song would be like 12 things down on the list. Yeah. And I could have literally typed in the song and the band that did it, and it was still like so far down because you can't possibly be talking about this.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:26

Like, that was so long ago. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_05 1:17:31

How are you on the internet being that old? I'm like, man, Google doesn't even know what the hell I'm talking about. Google was there. Right? Google was forming at that time. In Uterrow. Making that nerve. Yeah, yeah. Bringing it back. All right, we're punch drunk. It's time to wrap this up. Save these poor people from.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:57

We rambled on for an hour and 20 minutes. We have, we have. Uh, thank you for listening. Thank you, Nicole, for the lovely script. You have me back again next week. Yeah. And I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:08

So I think that's where my writer's blog came from, was I had to do two weeks in a row. I was like, two weeks in a row is too much. Too many. I'm glad we alternate because that was a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:16

It was a lot. Uh thanks for listening. Uh find us where you find the podcast, Daroonies. Um at uh the socials at Like WhateverPod. Please. Um, we got a website. We do likewhateverpod.com. Um we have a YouTube, like whatever. We have socials, I said. We have all the things. Um like share rate review. That bumps us up. If you have these are so hard. If you have a favorite grunge song that you would like to tell us about, you can tell us like whatever pod at gmail.com or don't like whatever. Whatever. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:12

Like whatever.